You’re Not Too sensitive: Handling Complex Emotions
Some girls are told they’re too sensitive before they even know what that means. Maybe you’ve heard it when you cried at something others laughed off. Maybe someone rolled their eyes when your feelings showed up “too big,” “too loud,” or “too much.” Over time, those comments can start to stick. You begin to wonder if your emotions are a problem. You start holding them in. Downplaying them. Or worse, believing they don’t matter.
Having big feelings doesn’t make you weak, dramatic, or broken. It makes you human. And learning how to navigate those feelings—especially the hard, confusing, or overwhelming ones—is a strength, not a flaw.
At The Girl Lab, we don’t believe in shutting feelings down. We believe in learning how to handle them in ways that feel honest and empowering. If you’ve ever felt like your emotions are too much—or that you don’t know what to do with them—you’re not alone. And this space is for you.
What It Means to Be “Sensitive”
The word “sensitive” gets a bad reputation. People throw it around like it’s an insult. But the truth? Sensitivity is awareness. It means you notice things. You feel things deeply. You’re affected by what’s around you—by people, energy, environments, words.
That’s not something to fix. It’s something to understand and learn how to work with. Being sensitive doesn’t mean you can’t handle life. It means you need tools that help you take care of yourself while you do.
So let’s throw out the idea that being sensitive makes you less than. Let’s talk about how to handle complex emotions with strength, compassion, and clarity—without shutting yourself down.
What Are Complex Emotions?
Not every feeling fits neatly into “happy,” “sad,” “angry,” or “excited.” Some emotions are layered. You might feel relief and guilt at the same time. You might feel joy mixed with fear. You might feel nothing when you expected to feel everything.
Complex emotions are feelings that don’t come with a simple label or one clear reaction. They show up when your body, mind, and heart are trying to process multiple things at once. They can be uncomfortable, confusing, or even scary—but they’re also totally normal.
You’re not wrong for having complicated feelings. You’re growing. And growth often looks like emotional messiness before it becomes clarity.
How to Handle Feelings You Don’t Fully Understand
Ever felt something and had no idea why? Or tried to explain your mood but couldn’t find the right words? That’s where a lot of girls get stuck. You don’t need to have a perfect explanation for every emotion. But learning how to respond to those moments helps you feel more grounded, even when things feel heavy.
Here’s what can help:
1. Name What You Can
You don’t need the exact word. Start with the basics: “I feel tight in my chest.” “I feel like crying but I’m not sure why.” “I’m overwhelmed, but I don’t know from what.” Naming the sensation starts the process. The words will come.
2. Don’t Judge the Feeling
It’s easy to go into “What’s wrong with me?” mode. But emotions aren’t moral. Feeling sad doesn’t mean you’re weak. Feeling angry doesn’t make you mean. Your job isn’t to fix the emotion—it’s to listen to it.
3. Take a Pause, Not a Shutdown
Sometimes you need to hit pause—not to avoid your feelings, but to get space from the noise around you. That might mean going for a walk, putting your phone down, journaling, or even crying. Let the feeling breathe.
4. Reach Out to Someone Who Gets It
You don’t need a huge explanation. A simple “I don’t feel like myself” to a trusted person can open the door. You’re allowed to ask for support even if you can’t fully explain what’s going on.
Why Emotional Strength Isn’t About Holding It All In
You’ve probably seen it: the girl who never cries. The one who seems unbothered no matter what. She gets called “strong.” But real strength isn’t about silence—it’s about honesty.
Bottling up your feelings doesn’t make you powerful. It makes you heavy. And over time, that weight shows up in other ways—overthinking, shutting down, snapping at people you care about, feeling numb.
Emotional strength is knowing when to lean into your feelings and when to step back. It’s the ability to say, “This is hard, but I can handle it in my way, at my pace.”
Handling Emotions in Real Life Moments
Here’s the thing about emotions: they don’t wait for the perfect moment. They show up in class, at dinner, while you’re getting dressed, mid-text, mid-test. So how do you handle them in real time?
In Class:
If you feel like crying or your anxiety kicks in during school, ask to go to the restroom or the counselor’s office. Splash cold water on your face. Take deep, grounding breaths. When emotions feel too big, try giving them a name—not to label yourself, but to understand what’s showing up. Say it in your head or write it down:
“I’m not just ‘off’—I’m disappointed.”
“This isn’t just stress—it’s pressure to be perfect.”
“I’m not being dramatic—I feel hurt.”
Once you name it, it feels less like a storm and more like a message. And when you can name it, you can meet it with clarity instead of confusion.'
During a Conflict:
Pause before you respond. Take one deep breath. Ask yourself: “What do I want to express right now?” Not every emotion needs a reaction. Sometimes the best response is a calm exit and a later conversation.
At Home:
If things feel overwhelming at home, find a safe space—a corner of your room, the shower, outside. Play music that helps you process. Journal. Text a friend. Take a moment to be with your feelings instead of stuffing them down.
Tools That Help When You Feel Overwhelmed
Not every girl has the same tools—but here are a few we’ve seen work across different lives, stories, and situations:
The Emotional Check-In: “What am I feeling right now?” “What triggered it?” “What do I need?”
The Safe Word: A word you and a friend or adult agree on that signals you’re not okay and need support.
The Grounding Object: A small item (ring, stone, note) you carry that reminds you of who you are.
The “No Judgment” Journal: A space where you write what you’re feeling with zero edits, zero shame.
What If You Feel Too Much, Too Often?
This question comes up a lot. Some girls worry that something’s “wrong” because they feel so intensely, so often. But feeling deeply doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your emotional world is rich—and that comes with both challenge and beauty.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed every day, it might be time to talk to a counselor, therapist, or trusted adult. Support doesn’t mean you’re weak—it means you’re smart enough to get tools you need. You wouldn’t wait for a car to crash before you got the brakes checked. Same with your emotions. Care now means less chaos later.
Learning to Say What You Need
A huge part of handling complex emotions is learning how to ask for what you need without shame.
Start small. Practice phrases like:
“I’m not okay right now, and I just need someone to listen.”
“I don’t need advice, just your presence.”
“This is hard for me to talk about, but I want to try.”
It’s okay to not have it all figured out. It’s okay to speak up in pieces. You deserve to be supported through your emotions—not silenced because of them.
Let Yourself Feel Proud of Your Sensitivity
Being able to feel deeply means you’re able to connect deeply. It means you notice things others miss. You care, you observe, you understand. Those are strengths.
Don’t let anyone make you feel small for having a big heart. The world needs more girls who are in touch with themselves—who know how to hold their own feelings and respect the feelings of others.
It’s Not About Controlling Emotions—It’s About Understanding Them
You’re not here to be perfect. You’re not here to never cry or never get mad. You’re here to grow—and growing means learning how to sit with yourself in every version: angry, joyful, confused, excited, lonely, proud.
So the next time someone calls you “too sensitive,” let that roll off your back. You’re not too sensitive. You’re just in tune.
Love always,
The Girl Lab Team
