My Story is a long one, filled with both terrible suffering and incredible blessings. But instead of telling you everything, because that could probably fill a book, I'm going to tell you the parts that brought me to creating The Girl Lab.

  (Still, a bit long ;)

 

  I was raised in a Christian home, in a family everyone thought was perfect. I grew up the oldest of six sisters and two brothers, which was awesome! 

  Until my teenage years, I felt safe, protected, and unconcerned by the ugly world outside. Our TV and movie experience didn't go past PG-ratings. 

 

   I'm thankful I had those years because, through the hard times that would come, those memories would become my sanctuary of relief. 

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  As I grew into my teenage years, I began to experience deep depression, along with a wicked spirit guide who promised to be my best friend but had plans to lead me astray. 

  The supernatural world became very real to me. With my Christian upbringing, it wasn't too shocking so I knew how to fight it with prayer. 

 

   The more I prayed, the more I saw the spirit world and the more I became depressed. 

  Now, when I think back on it, I think I was recognizing for the first time in my life, the suffering of others, and I could "see" where it was coming from, in the spirit world. 

 

   As I experienced all this, I tracked my depression on my favorite Michael Jordan Calander as, DEEP, DEEPER, DEEPEST. To mark how bad it was. When it would reach the Deepest level, I would feel suicidal, wishing I was dead. Unable to handle the weight of all I was experiencing. 

   At night, while my family slept, I would sneak downstairs to the knife drawer and find the sharpest knife and hold it to my wrist.

  My hands trembled as my tears streamed. But, I couldn't do it. There was a force of energy that wouldn't allow me to touch that knife to my wrist and I knew it was the Lord. I also knew it was wrong, a sin to take my own life, and that I was created with a purpose that I hadn't fulfilled yet!

 

  As my prayer life pulled me into the world of the unseen, and the spirit world became more visible to me, two things happened. 

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 1. People began to ask me for prayer, and when I prayed for them, the answers would come miraculously quick as the impossible was made possible.

 

  I'll give you an example in a moment. 

 

 2. During this time I kept a journal about my supernatural experiences and signed each entry with a new name that was impressed deeply on my heart, Spirit Warrior. This name was inspired by scripture in the Bible that says, For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Ephesians 6:12

 

 Which by the way, is still my favorite verse in the Bible!

 

 Remember I said I would give you an example of how my prayers were miraculously answered? Here it is. 

  There was a woman in our church who came to me, mind you, I was only fourteen. She was a woman who truly loved the Lord and her children, I could "see" it, I knew it was true. It was a gift I was very aware of, that I could know such things. 

 

  She had heard from someone else I had prayed for, that the Lord heard my prayers, and so she asked me to pray for her son, who was wrongfully accused and sentenced to prison for life.

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  She asked that I would pray for him, for his salvation and for God's grace, and that the Lord would give her strength to bear it because she loved her son so much, and it pained her that she would have to watch him waste his life away. 

 

  I nodded as she spoke, hearing both her and the Spirit of the Lord within me. I said, "I'll pray for your sons' freedom and salvation." 

  She smiled, with tears running down her cheeks. I knew that look when adults look at you and wish they had your naive faith. But I believed it would happen. I prayed three times a day and two weeks later, I went to church to see something quite miraculous indeed.

 

  Before I tell you what happened, I must explain the spirit guide I mentioned earlier. This was not a godly presence, it was something wicked, that had attached itself to me, and visited me, and I could see it, both in our realm and in the other. 

 

  I think I know where this spirit came from, which is another story entirely, and maybe one I'll tell someday, but right now, the important part is knowing why I mentioned it. You see, a spiritual battle was raging for my soul. As I mentioned, I grew up in a Christian home, taught about the Lord, and the Bible and what it means to have a relationship with Jesus Christ. 

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  I loved the Lord, and I was becoming infatuated with the supernatural, both the dark and the light. I understood God's power as He answered my prayers so swiftly and miraculously, and as my spirit guide taught me, I began to understand what the other side wanted as well. I feared the darkness, but even though I knew the Lord was greater, I kept listening to the wicked spirit guide. 

 

  It took a few years for me to understand how dangerous it was for me to keep that demon with me, and when I finally grasped the danger I was in, I turned to my mom to help pray me free of it.

 

 I explain this because it shows how the spirit world works. When you pray, there are more than angels of heaven arriving on the scene. It's a spiritual battle, constantly, and one we fight daily, whether we want to "see" or not.

 

  So even as you might be walking with the Lord, the dark side is fighting to drag you away from Him and if you don't walk with the Lord, then the Light is fighting against the darkness for you. The Devil wants to keep us from this truth, to take us down with him. 

 

 This is the battle the woman's son was also fighting. I could see it, even though I didn't even know what her son looked like.

 As I prayed for him, I could see the demons and angels fighting for his soul, and I realized that it wasn't about him going to prison, it was about his eternal salvation, and so I prayed for that. 

 Two weeks later, at church, the woman ran up to me and hugged me so tight I couldn't breathe. Thanking me, and sobbing she said, "I want you to meet someone." 

It was then I recognize the timid young man at her side, smiling at me, and before she said it, I knew him. 

  The mother continued, "Thank you for praying for my son! He accepted the Lord into his life and then his conviction was dropped!" 

 

  The Supernatural world is real, but it's also nothing to mess around with. My mother was a wonderful parent, but I couldn't even confide in her about my depression. I didn't want to burden anyone, and I believed I could handle it. (Which I couldn't)

 

  Let me tell you something amazing and powerful, we were created to help each other! And when we do, miraculous things happen. I should have asked for help, I should have asked for prayer sooner. 

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  I do believe some of my depression was from supernatural attacks, but I also believe, now that I've majored in physiology and anatomy, that that teenage shift of hormones was upon me, and as we transition into adulthood, our hormones adjust, and the shift can be quite powerful. 

 

  Depression is no joke. 

 

  If you are suffering from it, seek help. From the Lord, and from a parent, and or adult who can help you get help and understanding. 

 

  Thankfully, I made it out of my teenage depression, but I never forgot the loneliness I experienced, the pain, the struggles of being misunderstood.   

 

  And years later, I would also recall a terrible and wicked event that happened in my early childhood. An event I blocked out, as my young mind was unable to deal with it. That too may have played a part in that depression. 

 

  In all this, there was one thing that I so greatly wished for and prayed for, a prayer that wasn't met until many years later. I wanted someone to confide in. Someone I could trust and talk to without putting the burden on my mom, but also because I assumed I would already know my mom's reaction. LOCK HER UP AND PROTECT HER.

 

  I feared that if I told my mom, I would never be allowed to have my freedom again, as she would want to protect me from the pain I was suffering. 

 

  So that's why I created The Girl Lab.

To give teen girls a safe place and a sisterhood to be vulnerable, to heal, and to grow.

A place you can get guidance from worthy role models and transition into adulthood, confident, and brave enough to pursue your purpose. 

 

 

  I'm here to be your big sister, a position I've held my entire life by the way!

And, I'm here to be your Spirit Warrior, to pray for you, to support you, to help you in your search and walk for and with the Lord. 

 

 

  You can send your prayer requests, questions, comments, hopes, and dreams to me in the support section, or e-mail me at Heather.sudbrock@gmail.com

  And remember, when something terrible is happening in your life, request prayer and understand that two forces are fighting for your soul for two reasons:

 

  1. Because you matter greatly to the Lord!

  2. Because your purpose on Earth is THAT important!

 

   

    Always and in love, your big sister & Spirit Warrior, 

                                                                        Heather

                                                                                                                                      xoxo